The boyhood stage of the masculine journey is, or should be, a time of being seen, wanted, and affirmed, a time of play and wonder, a time when a boy experiences that he is the joy of his father and has the attention of his mother. Fundamental questions he is asking are
Do you see me?
Do you love what you see?
He yearns to know he is prized and delighted in.
The father creates a world that is safe, and he is often the leader of play, present and engaged. He brings surprises for his son, places to look into and things to learn hands-on, gifts that speak to the boy’s heart. “Hands-on” often describes the relation- ship itself: walking hand in hand with Dad, being carried close to his chest, getting rides on his shoulders. This is the time for the boy to experience that someone is looking out for him, that the world is not up to him, that “Dad’s got things under control.”
In all of it, the main job of Dad is to answer the deep questions of his boy’s heart—Do you see me? Do you love what you see?—hundreds of times over with strong and tender replies, Yes, and yes!
