“As thinkers we are cut off from what we think about; as tasting, touching, willing, loving, hating. The more lucidly [rationally, logically] we think, the more we are cut off.... You cannot STUDY Pleasure in the moment of the nuptial embrace, nor repentance while repenting, nor analyze the nature of humour while roaring with laughter.” - C. S. Lewis
We say something similar today in the phrase “Don’t lose the moment.” We don’t want to lose the experience of an important moment by disengaging our hearts through analysis or distraction. Lewis’s marital example is so clear—if you reduce intimacy to clinical techniques, you’re sure to lose the beauty of that magical moment. You can attempt to have understanding, or you can have your mate.
One evening after a men’s conference, I took Leigh out on a dinner date to ask her some questions about her level of happiness with our marriage and life. I was actually fulfilling an assignment from the conference. Sitting across from her, I covertly pulled out my Day-Timer with the assigned questions, laying it open by my leg. Throughout the evening I asked her one question after another until she leaned forward and asked, “Are you reading these questions?” I’ve never been able to hide anything from Leigh. I expressed that I loved discovering these things about her, but the questions were suggested by the speaker at the men’s conference. Grabbing my hand, she said, “I would rather have your heart than these questions.” I had lost the moment. In my attempt to under- stand, I had lost the very person I was looking for—Leigh. Please hear me: Understanding is a good and needed thing, but it can be gained in different ways.
