Quite possibly the kindest and most helpful thing you can do for someone is to name for them what you have just heard and witnessed as they’ve shared with you. I remember when I shared a painful story with someone and they simply said, “That is so hard.” I felt heard and joined in my sadness, and that they were feeling along with me (empathy).
Here are a few examples of naming what you’ve heard:
- I hear how heartbreaking and painful that must be. It sounds really lonely.
- Your body has been feeling and carrying a lot.
- That sounds devastating.
- You have endured much _____ (heartache, stress, uncertainty, loneliness, being left out, pain, sorrow, loss, waiting…).
Responses like these help us stay with them in their story and invite more!
