In his book, Fathered by God, John Eldredge writes…
“…most men and most boys have no real father able to guide them through the jungles of the masculine journey, and they are—most of us are—unfinished and unfathered men.”
“Unfinished” and “unfathered” are two core ingredients of disorientation.
One reason I can often recognize another disoriented heart is because I lived in that condition for so many years. It doesn’t necessarily mean we had bad fathers. But it may very well mean that our fathers were themselves unfinished and unfathered men.
One sign of disorientation is a man who settles for being a servant of the kingdom rather than a Warrior for it. Service is not a bad thing but it is definitely not a great thing. Men don’t dream of growing up to be a servant. They do dream of becoming a man that matters, contributes, provides and protects. Being a son who serves is far greater than being a servant who isn’t a son. Service that originates from the wrong source, as it so often does, is in itself enough to anesthetize your soul. Duty-bound serving will take its toll on a man until life is either boring or irrelevant.
You can be a servant and not a Warrior. However, it is impossible to be a Warrior and not be a servant.
A man must learn the way of Life, which is the narrow road, and he must know the voice of the only One who can truly teach him how to be a Warrior. There is a language, an understanding, a path, and an experience that leads to a practice. That practice is a way of Life that every man must learn if he is going to be an oriented man.
One significant question each man must answer…
Can I trust the heart of my Teacher . . . is my Teacher good?
No matter how young or old you are, how inexperienced or experienced, there is One who wants to intervene in your life and take you on this quest for good. There is One who wants the significant role of teaching, loving, initiating, validating, and turning you loose into the world to be dangerous for good. There aren’t many men in training, collaborating with God, partnering in a glorious alliance of hearts. Look around you.
Loss of heart is everywhere. Loss of Life is extensive.
The situation is far worse than we thought.
But the Life that is available to you—the abundant Life hidden in Christ—is far better than you can possibly imagine. And it’s available to all who seek it out.
Two key ingredients of disorientation are being unfinished and/or unfathered.
In your Time alone with God, ask Him:
Father God, which one (unfinished or unfathered) has most affected my life story and journey with You?
Jesus, is there anything in the way of me believing that I can fully trust you as my Teacher?
